Trends I just can't get behind (a ranty rant)

Salvador Dalí with animal-printed cat. (Okay, ocelot.)
The only thing missing is an owl.*
I know, great title. But it's true. There's quite a few trends out there that just don't seem to die, and I either hated them in the first place (animal prints, I'm looking at you!) or I'm just so over them. I know a lot of people will disagree with me (these being trends, after all), but I feel like ranting. Ranting means I may use four-letter words and other expletives. I don't believe in using asterisks to pretend people don't know what word I'm using. Nothing extreme, but you've been warned.
- Animal prints. They weren't sexy in the 1980s and they aren't sexy now. Combining them with hot pink or teal doesn't make them any better, but possibly worse.

Speaking of things from the 1980s. What is this shit? For decades, pretty much everyone agreed the 1980s were a complete fashion disaster. And then a couple of years back they started bringing all the worst parts of them back. Leggings without a skirt or dress. Shoulder pads. Bright blue eyeshadow with pink lips. Crazy black and white patterns made up of geometrical (and possibly some non-Euclidian) shapes. This year I've been seeing those boxy tees and sweaters that are wider than they are long. Next thing you know we'll see everyone wearing scary big 80s hair so hard from all the hairspray you can use it to scratch someone's car. I'm not okay with this.

- Moustaches. I never particularly liked this trend, though I do admit the first time I saw a necklace with a stache you could lift to your face I chuckled. That was about 4 years ago though. Let it go, people. Fine, if you want to raise prostate cancer awareness via staches, I guess that's okay, but do we raise breast cancer awareness by printing scary 80s hair on stuff? Weird. But okay, it's for a good cause, so I'll let it pass.
But let's face it. Very few people look good wearing a moustache. This baby is one of them. The other one is my Dad. And he only gets away with it because he's worn it my entire life and wouldn't look like my Dad if he shaved it off.
Anyone else? Nope. This list of "inspiring" Hollywood staches? Creepy as fuck. 50 best movie moustaches? Only if by "best" you mean "ideally suited to making me scrunch my nose in disgust". Even hot guys look considerably less hot with a stache.
Though I can sort of get behind this guy and his friends at the World Beard Championships, because most of them have a beard to balance that weird thing under their nose and even in the moustache category I'm pretty sure they don't expect to be considered hot by anyone but moustache fans.

- Owl puns. Owlright, whoooo said they were a hoot? Owl thank you to make owl of these go away for owlways owlready. This sums up my feelings perfectly: No more bad owl puns (not that there are any good ones). (A close second: Sew. It's sew annoying!)

Have any trends you hate?

Captain Rantypants

*Photo credit: Roger Higgins, World Telegram staff photographer. Source: Library of Congress (cph.3c14985) via Wikimedia Commons. This image is in the public domain.


  1. I agree that most people don't look great with just a moustache (too often they look creepy instead). But I do think Tom Selleck and Sam Elliott make it work. And going through that list of movie moustaches, I have to admit I didn't mind Clark Gable in Gone With The Wind either.

    On a totally different note: Yay, Star Trek!

    1. Thanks for your comment! I think Tom Selleck wouldn't look like Tom Selleck without the moustache, but if I were to just randomly meet him in the street without knowing him from TV, I don't think I'd find it attractive either... but then, tastes differ :)

      Star Trek high-five!

    2. Oh, and by the way - I love owls, it's just the puns I hate (thought I should set that straight, what with your owl protection activities!)


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